bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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