I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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