one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
