Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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