I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize