so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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