well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
