Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
