he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
