if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
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