all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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