so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
