she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
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