belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
