I heard we made out
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
