I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
