Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
