I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize
