I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
It's blow job season.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
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