true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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