everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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