i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
