i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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