I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
