Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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