I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Randomize
