Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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