bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
