She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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