very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
