I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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