marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
