Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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