they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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