If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Randomize
