Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
