pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
You're a waste of cheezeits
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
