They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
