I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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