suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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