I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize