How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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