Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Randomize
