So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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