I wanna bring you to show and tell
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Im part way to drunk.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
