You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
All the doctor said was why
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
