we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
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