imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
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