i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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