is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
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