my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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