That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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