the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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