Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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