can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
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