Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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