He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize