We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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