hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Are my feet made of real feet?
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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