weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize