i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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