and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
