I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Randomize
